＋＋＋新手作文容易犯的几个问题＋＋＋ 14楼补充对短发mm关于argu开头疑问的解答

世界杯如火如荼进行当中，可敬（可怜）是准备考试的同志还在坚持写作文。现在是考试淡季，组长辛苦，队员辛苦，大家还都在写第二次作业第三次作业。我就勤劳的来写一写新手入门容易范的几个错误吧。看一下节约新手的时间。本篇绝对不适用于一篇作文都没写过的伪新手，尤其适合issue写了不到五篇的入门级。因为我看的issue比较多，所以主要问题集中在issue。另外，被我当作反面教材的同志千万不要追杀我！！例子全部来自这几天版面上的作文，我就不提供原始link了。 问题一：没有任何内容的假大空语句泛滥。 题目：issue17 - "There are two types of laws: justand unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey justlaws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws." 例子：The speaker asserts that laws can be categorizedinto two types: just ones that everyone should obey and unjust ones everyindividual should disobey and resist. This claim seems appealing at the firstglance. However, with further consideration, especially into the part ofdisobeying and resisting unjust laws, I think it is inappropriate and tooextreme. 点评：重复了一下题目的内容。无功无过。我的个人观点是改作文的人是看得见题目的，没有必要重复题目的内容。但是issue题目重复一下问题不大。剩下的内容，从Thisclaim开始就是假大空范畴了，只在结尾点出了作者反对的立场。作者反对的理由是什么？没有写。如果实在时间紧迫不能提出支撑自己立场的主要（注意是主要，不是罗列所有）论点，那么就请开门见山直接说同意不同意。言之有物是一种美德，简洁更是。 还有一种隐蔽型的假大空开头，就是写社会发展，科技进步。大部分题目开头都可以写工业革命发展啦，技术进步啦，人类生活变好啦。但是可以写不等于写了就合适。如果说写一句是帮助你扯到题目的关键词好接着往下摆观点，写两句除了浪费你的时间我就没看出来第二个好处。这种假大空很难被发现，更好使，所以写的人更多。用用没问题，别过头。 题目：ARGUMENT161 - In a study of reading habits ofLeeville citizens conducted by the University of Leeville, most respondentssaid they preferred literary classics as reading material. However, a follow-upstudy conducted by the same researchers found that the type of book mostfrequently checked out of each of the public libraries in Leeville was themystery novel. Therefore, it can be concluded that the respondents in the firststudy had misrepresented their reading habits. 习作： In this argument, the arguer draws the conclusion that the first studyconcerning the reading habits of Leeville citizens fails to be representativeand the result is inaccurate and untrustworthy .This assumption is based on anapparent discrepancy between the favourite reading material as literal classicsclaimed y most respondents in the first study and the type of book mostfrequently checked out in public libraries in Leeville as mystery novels . Atfirst glance it may reasonable. But after a careful examination of thisargument ,however, reveals how groundless the conclusion is . 点评：更崩溃的是写argument的时候把题目的内容总结一遍放在开头的，真是有时间。然后后面正文写着写着时间不够了，草草收场。这种“虎”头蛇尾的argument,看得我暴躁暴躁暴躁！Argument开头贴出来超过三行的同志请小心。 问题二：I think,I must confess,…从头I到尾。 点评：issue写作看重的是逻辑，不要一味强调个人主观性。开头写一两次I think或者 Iconcede足够，正文不要反复出现I, I, I. 不写I人家也知道你的文字都是你的看法。要突出的是你的论证如何圆满的支持了你的观点，I来I去只能表明你的不专业。 问题三：写了关键词，但是不切题目。 题目： issue180-"Many problems of modern society can not be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot belegislated." 习作： There exist millions of issues in theworld. They can be divided as long-term issues like racial discrimination,environmental pollution, and nuclear weapons, and immediate problems such asdiseases, wars, and education. Millions of people are dedicated to work all thethings out yet some of them are still up in the air. For the long term issues,laws and legal systems may work at some point, but it can not cover all theproblems. After all, they are legislated based on the previous experiences andcriminals, which aptly expresses the omissions that new problems come outwithout appropriate solutions for them. Let’s take the gun policy as anexample. At some places, firearms bargains are prohibited by law while in otherplaces are not, this is where the controversy exists. The comment of both thepros and cons seem reasonable. Nevertheless unfortunately the correct decisionis hardly to be made as there are no lessons drawn from the precedents. For theshort-term issues like diseases, laws always play an important role. We cannotimagine that without the laws and orders, what the society would be like. Problemscontinue emerging, revealing to be complex and intricate. Laws and legalsystems are not consummate enough to make everything perfect and satisfying,omissions are always exist, especially when some problems related morality andethics. 点评： 看题目，现代社会的很多问题不能通过法律手段来解决，因为moralbehavior不能够通过法律来定义。 作者写的环境污染，核武器,野生动物保护，AIDS之类的，根本就不是moral behavior! 这种写关键词但是跑题的毛病也很常见。题目说法律，我就写法律，题目说儿童教育，我就写儿童教育，没有注意到题目的内在联系。正如我们给出立场的时候要写清楚支撑立场的理由，出题目的人在下一个结论的时候也给出了他自己的理由，我们写的时候不要借着关键词随意发挥。 问题四：对于关键词的种种忽略。 题目： issue17 - "There are two types of laws: just andunjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just lawsand, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws." 习作： We can take the marriage law for example. In manycountries all around the world, including China, polygamy is illegal. If onehas more than one spouse, he or she will be punished and attached with labelsof disobeying moral. However in several other countries, polygamy, which oftenrefers to cases that one man has two or more wives, is allowed by law and maybea man with more wives is considered stronger or richer. Assuming that thespeaker's assertion is absolutely right, then if I come to a country allowingpolygamy what is the correct behavior for me, a person from a country totallyagainst polygamy. 点评：这个题目的关键词也是法律。法律存在它的时间性跟地域性。作者前文提出很难定义法律条文是合理还是不合理，用了重婚做例子。题目点名了every individualin a society, 后面obey不obey的问题讨论的其实是一个人对于当下所处社会法律制度的反应。在现代的（注意这里又出现了关键词的时效性，古代中国过三妻四妾很正常）中国，重婚违法。在有些地区，重婚OK。假想一个社会／地区的人对另外一个社会／地区的人做出反应，不在题目讨论的范围内。 忽略关键词的地域性，时效性，是新手另外一个常犯的毛病。 再看一个题目。 题目：issue64 "Many people know how to attain success,but few know how to make the best use of it." 点评：这个题目里面的it，到底是it=success，还是it=how toattain success? 成功or获取成功的方式，取其一来写。有同学上来就自认为it=success,不给人一个痛快。对it的不同理解，论点会有比较大的差异。对于类似有模糊关键词的题目，开头要做的工作就是定义关键词！ 顺带的毛病就是把定义关键词做为正文的内容。还是拿写法律来举例，正文可以写法律的作用，这个作用是如何跟题目的另外一个重点扯上关系。但是不适用于单纯的定义法律。定义自己要说明的问题,摆立场，讲理由一二三，才符合逻辑。 问题五：想说就说，想写就写。 题目： 例子：暂时没找到，留空位。 点评：开头要统领文章正文，结尾回顾总结。大部分同志都能很好的把一篇issue的开头，结尾，跟issue的正文分割开来。悲剧的是同样的道理放到issue的正文段落上来，很多人就昏了头了。一个段落叙述一个论点，你的段落开头，点明了这段话的重心或者是主题吗？很多人的正文段落，第一句话连个象样的主题句都不算，完全就是在考验读者的耐心，要我们帮它总结段落大意来了。想写就写，无视文章结构。 对应的毛病就是 问题六：该说的不说，该写的不写。 点评：这也是写正文的时候容易犯的毛病。论点写完了马上就丢例子，语法正确，论点到位，但是看下来没觉得是篇好作文？不对论点进行阐述，没有从论点到例子的过渡，别人怎么看得见分析题目的过程！ 暂时就这些。我想到什么就继续更新。都是这几天看到版上习作里有的毛病。 个人看法，欢迎讨论。 光写作文不交流，写起来很痛苦啊{:3_62:} 我觉得现在大家写作文还行，交流实在太少太少，我真是皇帝不急太监急！